Stubborn

It has taken years of hard work and practice, but I think my family is almost there. There have been some setbacks along the way and a few naysayers who never believed it would ever happen, but, at last, we're reaching the pinnacle of our training programme.

All it needs now is for the International Olympics Committee to confirm that Stubbornness is a recognised event in Rio 2016 and we are confident that Team GB will be bringing home a clean sweep of medals in one event for the first time.

If anyone from my Dad's side of the family is reading this, I'm afraid you must forget immediately any prospect of a trip to Brazil.  It is my Mother's side of the family, the de Cani's, that should be practising their Portuguese and dusting off the skimpy swimsuits ready for the between-event downtime on Copacabana Beach.

There are plenty of medal contenders in our family.  My Auntie Joyce has showed great promise, but if I'm honest she lacks the consistency needed to get past the qualifiers.  My Uncle Rod is something of a dark horse, as I have not been able recently to assess his performance in training.  His wife assures me he is ready, however.  My sister, Helen,  is assured of a semi-final place, and at times shows the sort of application and dedication that could push her onto the podium.

One of our best hopes is my Mum.  Seasoned analysts are confident it will be at least a silver if we can convince her that it won't be too hot and she'll be able to get some 'proper' food and a copy of the Daily Telegraph.  The extent of Mum's dedication is illustrated by our weekly trip to The Third Circle of Hell (that reminds me, I still haven't heard back from Morrison's about my suggestion that they change their advertising strap-line).  No matter how big The Shopping List is, we still have to go up and down every aisle, still have to spend 20 minutes choosing the yoghurts and we still have to buy a bottle of sherry, even though she has more sherry in the cupboard than there is on the Morrison's shelf.  Any suggestion that we change the routine to finish more quickly is deftly batted aside.  There's dedication for you.

I love my Mum a great deal and she has found it very hard since my Dad died a couple of years' ago. I want to make her life as comfortable and as happy as I can and I know that I can do this with a few changes in her life, but she's in her mid-80s and is, understandably, reluctant to change.  This comes across as stubbornness, but I know it's simply because she wants to continue the life she had with my Dad as far as she can and is happy with the way things are.  I'm going to keep trying, however, and  eventually I'll succeed.  I know this because I am more stubborn than the rest of my family put together and I'm going to win a gold in 2016.