Quiet

I've just finished reading a book that was written about me.  I don't mean it was written specifically about me of course, as my memoirs are still being ghost-written (the working title is A Dish Best Served Cold), but the book I've just read is an owner's manual for how I work.

Quiet - The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking by Susan Cain, looks at the critical role that introverts play in everyday life and why, contrary to the popular opinion when I was growing up, introverts should not be encouraged to become more extrovert.

One of the most interesting things I've learned from this book is that we all, introverts and extroverts alike, need to schedule regular breaks in our day for 'Restorative Niches'.  A Restorative Niche is the time we need to do something completely in line with our personality and which  recharges our batteries. An introvert at a party feels drained at the end of the evening.  An extrovert feels just as tired by long periods of solitude and quiet. The Restorative Niche brings us back to our true selves.

My Restorative Niches are all centred on time alone or with my wife.  I need quiet and, paradoxically, I need noise.  Loud music refreshes me as much as total quiet, provided I am on my own.  An evening on my own at a Rammstein gig is my idea of heaven (even though I don't particularly like Rammstein).  An evening entertaining clients who I don't know is not.

I wish this book had been written earlier in my lifetime, because it would have helped me understand myself better.  I recommend this book for both introverts and extroverts.  And if you've got quiet children it should be a compulsory read.  There's a lot in this book about how you can help introverted children.  Not by encouraging them to be more outgoing or forcing them into situations totally at odds with their personality, but by building on their strengths and teaching them to how to live in a noisy world.  If you would like to borrow it, let me know.